I don’t know anymore…after three years, my methodology at this point is pretty much just randomly selecting movies that look dumb.White's late shot lifts North Texas over Troy 66-63 for Sun Belt NCAA bid -
Fuck yeah, UNT!
North Texas is the alma mater of my sister, my brother-in-law, and my good friend @IsJonas/prettygirlsongs/Jenny.
I don’t know anymore…after three years, my methodology at this point is pretty much just randomly selecting movies that look dumb.
Synopsis from Netflix: When her husband (Ted Danson) loses his high-paying job, well-off Bridget Cardigan (Diane Keaton) joins the janitorial staff of the Federal Reserve Bank and conspires with two fellow employees (Katie Holmes and Queen Latifah) to pilfer old money that’s scheduled to be destroyed. It seems like a simple plan … but, of course, it’s never that simple. Director Callie Khouri’s comic caper is based on a true story.
My thoughts (spoilers included): After watching Mad Money, I keep going back and forth in my head about whether I liked it or not. Part of me is still recoiling at the plot which was so far-fetched that all employees of the Federal Reserve would scoff at it, and another part of me is just happy that I got to see a film with some competent acting for the first time in a while. I don’t know if I should just suspend my disbelief and be pleased with a storyline where everyone gets off scot-free, or if I should point out the obvious that in real life everyone involved in the scheme would go to jail for grand larceny. In the end, I’m forced to view the glass as half empty because Mad Money was neither a funny comedy nor a particularly good heist movie. I’d really like to give it 2.5 stars for being thisclose to being a quality flick, but Netflix doesn’t allow you to do that. [Two out of five stars.]
Lindsay Lohan sues E-Trade for $100M over "milk-a-holic" Super Bowl commercial - NYPOST.com -
“They used the name Lindsay,” Ovadia said. “They’re using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn’t they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody’s talking about it and saying it’s Lindsay Lohan.”
Ummm, I’ve heard a lot of people talk about this commercial and not a single one of them has thought it was a reference to Lindsay Lohan.
For those of you who answered incorrectly yesterday in the cookbooks vs. websites question, I give you foodgawker. This site literally makes me drool and I need to stop looking at it because it’s a long time until dinner.
You better fucking believe it.
I’m taking a little bit of a gamble on this one. Normally I like Will Ferrell’s movies but Semi-Pro was stupid and Step Brothers was pretty iffy. The commercials for Land of the Lost made me think his current downward slide was not yet over.
Synopsis from Netflix: After accidentally uncovering a portal to an alternate universe peopled with dinosaurs, Sleestaks and other strange creatures, Dr. Rick Marshall (Will Ferrell) and two associates are forced to navigate a dangerous new world. Brad Silberling directs this big-screen adaptation of the classic 1970s adventure series “Land of the Lost,” the high-concept, low-budget fantasy dreamed up by famed children’s television producers Sid and Marty Krofft.
My thoughts: Well, most of my assumptions about this movie turned out to be correct. The majority of the attempted humor was based on Will Ferrell asserting himself to be an expert on everything, only to be immediately proven wrong. It grew tired pretty quickly. There were a few moments that did make me laugh, though (all of which took place either before or after the journey to the Land of the Lost):
Overall, it was a pretty dumb movie but it did have a few highlights. [Two out of five stars.]
Which are better for finding recipes: cookbooks or websites?
Welcome to my Oscar party. The popcorn has real movie theater butter!
(I used to work at a movie theater, and I’m not so sure that’s actually a good thing.)
This a self-selected movie chosen simply because of the title.
Synopsis from Netflix: After a series of mysterious disasters occurs in the Pacific, from the disappearance of a plane to the destruction of an oil rig, a group of scientists discovers that a secret military mission has unearthed a prehistoric shark and a giant octopus. When the government learns of the existence of the menacing beasts, the team of scientists is tasked with formulating a plan to destroy the phenomenal creatures. Lorenzo Lamas and Deborah Gibson star.
My thoughts: If you’re anything like me, you’ve recently been wondering “whatever happened to Debbie Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas?” Well, I present you with your answer: Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus. Personally, I think the title could have used some expletives to add some gravity to the epic confrontation. Motherfucking Mega Shark Versus Giant Goddamn Octopus sounds pretty good.
Anyway, as you might expect, the majority of this movie was pretty stupid. I don’t really give a shit about Debbie Gibson’s love affair with the Japanese scientist or the influence of her former professor to inspire her to do something great; I just want to see a giant fucking shark fight a giant fucking octopus.
To be totally honest, when the showdown finally occurred it was a bit of a letdown. Prior to that, however, were some pretty funny moments. My favorite was when, completely out of nowhere, the mega shark jumped out of the ocean and took down a commercial airplane. The giant octopus also had a couple of bad ass moments when it engulfed an entire offshore drilling station and swatted a fighter jet out of the sky. THAT’S what I wanted to see!
Unexpected pleasure from the film: hearing Debbie Gibson swear. It was pretty hilarious, and it happened twice. If you’ve got Netflix Instant Watch, you might want to check this movie out just for that. [Two out of five stars.]
This was a suggestion from @andricon who, if I remember correctly, claimed that it was worse than Battlefield Earth.
Synopsis from Netflix: After 10 years apart, three friends (Ethan Hawke, Robert Sean Leonard and Uma Thurman) reunite in a motel room to play out the unresolved drama of their final high school days. As layers of denial are peeled away, each character is provoked into revealing his or her true nature and motivation. A compelling drama, Tape examines the vast differences in how men and women interpret the same event.
My thoughts (spoilers included): I sort of enjoyed the concept of this movie: two (and eventually three) people in a motel room coming to terms with something that happened in the past—no scene changes or even any flashbacks. What I did not enjoy, though, were the subject matter and the execution.
The first ten or fifteen minutes involve Ethan Hawke defending his actions as a perpetrator of violence against women and stalking. Then the bulk of the rest of the film involves Robert Sean Leonard admitting to and subsequently trying to justify his actions as a date rapist. Things get more complicated when Ethan Hawke reveals that he has recorded the date rape confession and Uma Thurman (the victim of the act who may or may not have forgotten all about it) is coming over to visit.
Once she arrives there are some unspoken tense moments between Hawke and Leonard, and the viewer becomes curious as to whether or not Leonard will confess or if Hawke will reveal the tape to Thurman. These moments are definitely the highlight of the movie because, without giving away the ending, there really is no resolution.
I wish I could go in to more detail, but this film is at least interesting enough that I don’t want to reveal the ending (even though I was disappointed in it). Also, I’m sorry this review doesn’t contain any humor but obviously date rape isn’t anything to joke about. [Two out of five stars.]